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ME time, much needed ME time!

Soft music playing, the smell of an aged antique home and every so often, nature hitting my face with a breeze from an open window. A crisp sheet covering my body and nothing to do but relax. I could get used to this... Me time, much needed me time!

As the Massage Therapist stripped through my shoulder muscles she asked, "Have you cried enough?"

Being a Massage Therapist I know that sometimes conversations during treatment can get a bit deep, so I had no problem opening up to her. I thought about it for a second and eventually replied, "My family would argue that I'm a very emotional person, I feel like I talk about my feelings enough... But I guess I keep a lot in and often I get overwhelmed by my feelings... Maybe I haven't cried enough..."

The Therapist sensed that I need a good cry or an emotional release. She thinks I am holding onto negative stress and negative memories which is resulting in muscle tension and poor posture. I knew what she was getting at, as a Therapist I know that muscles hold memory. She had known from my first visit that in the last three years I have experienced a lot of change in my life. Good stress, bad stress, stress that I haven't properly dealt with or responded to.

After chatting for a while, she gathered that I am a giver not a taker, and asked how often I treat myself to fun or look for attention from others. The answer to that is not often. She asked me how much time I make for myself in the run of a day? A week? The answer to that is not much. She asked me if there is balance in my life; balance between work and play, social time and alone time, sleep, food etc. My answer to that was no, no and no.

I know I have to make a conscious effort to improve the balance in my life. Seeing a Massage Therapist regularly is a good start, but that can't be it. Too often, I turn down social time to be productive at home, and too often I ignore the urge to do things I enjoy only to follow the crowd, sleep a bit longer, or be lazy watching television. I care more about making other people happy than making myself happy, I rarely put my own needs first. I don't feel there are enough hours in the day to work and play, so I don't even try. I need to find balance. I need to know when to say no to friends and family and focus on myself, I need to know when to say NO to productivity and YES to fun.

To address to negativity that I am holding on to, the therapist encouraged a practice that involves being alone in a safe, comfortable place free of distractions. Whether it be your private back yard or the beach, surround yourself in a security circle of candles, rocks, photos or any other items that bring you comfort. Consider that you may be there a while so bring tissues, water and warmth. It's important not to make plans to socialize afterwards or entertain guests. Once you are comfortable in your security circle, all you have to do is talk out loud. Talk to yourself, talk to someone who passed, talk to someone you hold a grudge against. Imagine the energy waves are delivering your messages to them and once the words leave your lips, they are gone forever. Release all the pain, hurt, guilt, sadness or failure you feel. Afterwards, refresh your mind and body with a salt bath or a swim in the ocean... Cleanse and feel free of all the feelings that were holding you back.

We all know how good it feels to get things off our chest, so I really look forward to doing this healing exercise. If any of you try it out, I'd love to hear how you felt afterwards and what the experience was like for you. Here are some other things I'd like to incorporate into my weekly routine to add some balance...

Weekend baking...
Experimenting with food, actually using the recipes that I have collected over the years...
Early morning exercise...
Waking up with enough time to try on a few outfits, style my hair, enjoy breakfast.
Saturday afternoon walks or any physical activity instead of nursing a hangover...
Evening sunsets...
Putting my art room to good use, shutting off the television and picking up a paint brush.
Visiting my sisters resting place...
Making more time for my Nanny...
Stop wasting my week nights on house cleaning...
Saying YES to more social time...
Training for an athletic endeavor...
Spending time in our gardens, planting, weeding and improving the overall look and feel of "our" outside.

In closing, I think it is safe to say my Massage Therapist is doing the work of three different types of Therapists combined because I'm getting way more out of these visits than just decreased muscle tension.  Already I feel more relaxed and aware of what is going on around me; I see how quickly I react to stress rather than respond to it and how I easily give into things I should be doing instead doing what I want to do. That is going to change!

Do you have any encouraging advice? Tell me about your Me Time, why is it yours and no one elses and how often do you treat yourself?

Rachel Emmilee



  1. This is great post- such a great reminder to slow down and take care of myself!

    I haven't had enough me time lately and I'm stressed because of it, definitely.

    Maybe tonight after work I'll actually DO something rather than just doing the dishes and watching too much netflix :)

    1. Glad you enjoyed it! Sad that you read the unedited version, but that's my bad...

      I need a good kick in the butt now and then and this was all that and more. I'm really excited to make some changes and having people to share it with makes it even better!

      Have a FUN night, whatever you decide to do ;)

  2. Me time is a must-have for me. If I can't have it, I go bananas. I feel overwhelmed by the world and disconnected from myself. These last few weeks have been so hard for me because my new job and new living circumstances have allowed for zero me time. I've been on the verge of quitting all together, I've gotten myself sick with a nasty cold, and I generally feel like crap - all because I haven't been able to take care of myself properly. Can't allow it to continue like this, and you shouldn't either :-) I'm happy you're making changes for the better!

    1. That's exactly how I've been feeling! A bit run down, needing something "more"... Like I said, my relationships with the people around me are great, but when I'm on my own I'm feeling a bit lost... It's easy to get carried away with giving, giving, giving... In the end you hit a wall and feel how you're feeling, sick and overwhelmed!
      Hopefully you get back on track soon ;)
      Thanks for your comments!

  3. What a great massage and message! Sometimes we keep things in because we're afraid what others will think or say but sometimes you just got to speak your mind, you know? This is a nice reminder to not worry what others will think and to take care of yourself so that you can take care of others.
    Thanks for sharing this with us Rachel! :)

    1. Thank you Ladies :)
      Already I've done a few things out of the box and I feel great... And this weekend, it's going to be all about taking advantage of every hour free from the office!
      I always appreciate your comments!

  4. I hate to be THAT person, but for me, the best me time is spent going on a run/walk with the dogs. Dogs are optional, mp3 player/ipod is optional, but being outside for more than the short walk to/from the car has helped me IMMENSELY.
    I come home all wound up from a crappy day then go for a walk/run and those problems that were so huge before I went out are insignificant.
    Don't get me wrong, I also love my internet/do what I want time, but it's not nearly as fulfilling as getting outside and knowing that my problems will be way less significant when I come back all sweaty.

    1. Whatever works for you, that's all that matters. There is nothing wrong with what you consider me time... I am going to have to try that method... Getting up early and going for a run before work would be ideal, but it's going to take a lot of traning!
      Thank you for your comments! :)

  5. My life revolves around me having my me time. If I didn't get it or get deprived for more than 2 days I go bananas as well.


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